MISSION REPORTS: CUT-UP
EVENT POSTING
CRAZY CLOWN CAPERS STARRING...THE FORTUNE TELLER!
Scheduled to begin 9/13/2006 1:00 AM
Starts in Perez Park.
Host: Knight-Watchman
Location: Perez Park - Atlas Park entrance in Perez Park
Requirements: Must be at least level 7 to enter Perez Park
Rewards (if any): Spelunker Badge (needed for the Atlas Medallion)
Event Description:
**a weird green-haired clown dressed in yellow and lime green waves two battered Punch and Judy puppets, with badly lettered signs reading "Jessilyn" and "Modesa" respectively hung on them**
Cut-Up:
Jessilyn (squeaky voice): Oh, Modesa, I love you, even though you belong to that horrid Circle of Thorns
**kissing noises**
Modesa (deep sinister voice): And I love you, even though you're a half-wit fortune teller who needs a keeper And Must BE DESTROYED....oops, sorry honey, time for my medication.
**more smooches**
Jessilyn: I love YOU!
Modesa: I love YOU!
Jessilyn: I love you more!
Modesa: No, I love YOU more!
Boyfriend: Just what in the dingdang hell is going on here????
Voiceover: The part of the boyfriend is being played today by Mr. Socko, courtesy of Michael Foley enterprises.
Jessilyn: He...he KIDNAPPED ME!
Modesa: WHAAAAT? You TRAMP!
**Modesa begins to pummel Jessilyn mercilessly with a small wooden bat**
Cut-Up: HEY! That's not in the script!
Modesa: Shut up, or you'll get more of the same!
**Modesa begins to beat on Cut-Up**
Boyfriend: OK, that's enough of that!
**Boyfriend wraps a bat in barbed wire and sets it on fire**
Modesa: YIKES! Kidnapping doesn't sound like such a bad idea, now!
**Modesa grabs Jessilyn and absconds**
Cut-Up: What was his problem? Guess we'll have to go after him. Maybe I'll give my pals a call to help.
Boyfriend: You do that, pasty!
**beats on Cut-Up with the flaming barbed wire wrapped bat**
Cut-Up: Hey! Ow! Knock it..! OW! Hey, c'mon! Mick! MICK! CALL OFF THE STUPID SOCK! OW!
Legion of Valor Signups: Cut-Up, St. Helen, Black Rain, Cyroban, Flying Burrito, Jade Stinger, Mythic Mirage
Crazy Clown Capers Starring...The Fortune Teller
[Cut-Up]
MISSION REPORT
CRAZY CLOWN CAPERS STARRING...THE FORTUNE TELLER!
Added 9/13/2006
Submitted By Cut-Up
Event Description:
"Hello, my name is Alexander Polk, of the Polk & Prodd Sanitarium. I'm afraid Cut-Up is a little indisposed at the moment..."
"I AM NOT!"
"Nurse, more thorazine for the patient please. Yes, I'm afraid our celebrated clown had managed to escape the confines of the fence again. He says he involved some of your members in his tomfoolery, this time."
"Heh...you said 'member'!"
"Sigh.." **pulls out a piece of paper and dons glasses** "Apparantly he enlisted St. Helen, Black Rain, and Jaggered Justice to accompany him on some kidnapping case, picking up some help from Flying Burrito, Jade Stinger and Mythic Mirage along the way."
"Why are the sleeves on this coat so long?!? They go all the way to the back!"
"NURSE! Now, it seems that the kidnapped girl was rescued quite quickly, no thanks to our esteemed patient's undoubting interference."
"Those guys are good! I barely got a knife in! CUTCUTCUTCUTCUT..."
"Isn't that thorazine ready yet? The girl was returned unharmed to some unreported boyfriend..."
"THAT'S WHY THE LADY IS A TRAMP! SCOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY..."
**sound of a large blunt object connecting with a skull**
"HUSH! In the end, we found him wandering the streets clutching this badge and saying the word 'spelunker' over and over with varying inflection. We DO apologize for his untimely escape and beg your forgiveness for this lapse. We shan't let it happen again."
"Don't count on it, Doc!"
**Cut-Up smooches Dr. Poke on the top of his bald head and bounces around the room**
"Nurse! Bring me a Valium!"
"But, Doctor, the patient isn't prescribed for Valium!"
"Sigh...it's not FOR him!"
**fade to black, with soft whimpering**